So I’ve finished the first draft of the whole thing, and now all I have to do is upload it to you, my faithful readers. All three of ya :). Enjoy, and thanks for reading!
“Alright kid, let’s start with the basics. What’s your name?” I said.
“Sidney. Sidney Joseph McEwen.”
“Alright, Sid,”
“Sidney. I don’t answer to Sid.” This kid was really going to irritate me. I could tell.
“Sidney, then. Sidney, how much do you know about the book of Genesis?” I figured that I may as well uncork the heavy stuff right off the bat.
“The book of Genesis is where we learn the origins of man, his dominion over women and all the beasts of the field, and…”
“Wait a minute, kid. Where did you get that stuff about dominion over women?” I interrupted.
“It’s clearly stated in Genesis that Eve was given unto Adam to be his mate and his servant, as were all the beasts of the kingdom.” Wow. Junior was gonna have some issues when he met Eve.
“Ok. Let’s start right there. Nobody ever gave anybody dominion over anybody else, and Eve was never anybody’s servant, I promise.” Emily had started to look pretty grumpy about the whole “servant” thing, but she settled back into the booth as I corrected the kid’s misconceptions.
“I’m sorry, sir. I don’t mean to disrespect my elders, but are you really qualified to question the written Word of God the Father? I have dedicated my life to the study of the Bible, and I daresay I know the Book a little better than the average man on the street.” Okay, he’d brought out the smug. It as time to play a little rough.
I reached forward and grabbed his lip ring and pulled him close enough to feel my breath on his nose. “Listen, pincushion. A couple of points here. One: nobody under the age of fifty uses the word ‘daresay,’ especially not in a bar in Tennessee. Two: if you’re going to measure peckers, you’d better make sure you’re not whipping it out next to John Holmes. I’m not the average man on the street, and while I haven’t really dedicated much of my life to studying the Book, I’ve got more than a passing familiarity with the book of Genesis. Mostly because I. Was. Fucking. There.” I gave his ring a twist with each of the last few words for emphasis. When I let go of his mouth he bounced back to the booth and looked to Michael like he wanted to bolt, but the angel just smiled at him.
“I think you should listen to Adam, Sidney.” Michael finished his second beer and waved the waitress over. He motioned for another round, and Sid took the high road and polished off his drink.
“So. Let’s work from a point of common agreement: you don’t know shit about the book of Genesis, and probably not much more about the rest of that book you’ve been thumping on. So I’ll start at the beginning, or at least as much of it as I remember. A long time ago, there was a guy alone in a Garden. It was a nice garden, if a little boring with no one to talk to. Then one day, this chick appeared, and things got a lot more interesting. After a while with just the guy and the chick, the normal things happened and there were some more people. Then there was a snake, an apple, a really bad afternoon, a couple of brothers, a big rock, another really bad afternoon, and then the rest of the world happened. You with me so far?” The kid just sat there, looking at me like I was going to bite him, which I supposed was probably fair. I had meant to scare him a little, and maybe I got a bit out of hand. But he annoyed me, okay?
“Adam, let me try.” Michael began, but Emily jumped in before either of us could say another word.
“Sid, here’s the deal. This guy is Adam. That Adam. The whole Adam and Eve thing? He’s half of that dynamic duo. The blond guy next to you with the rapidly fading British accent? He’s the Archangel Michael, although he’s tucked away the flaming sword for the time being. We’re tying to save the world, and Michael says that you’re going to be very important to that. So are you in?” She certainly did have a way of cutting through all the bullshit.
“Um, if he’s…and he’s…” the kid pointed to me and Michael in turn “then…who…what are you?” He looked almost afraid of Emily’s answer.
“I’m his daughter, but otherwise I’m just a waitress from Texas who has been known to consort with the wrong crowd.” She pointed at me and took a swig of her beer. “And seriously, Dad, PBR? I’m sure they have import beers, even in this redneck shithole.”
“Just keepin’ it real, baby girl. Just keepin’ it real.” I watched the kid for trouble signs, but he just sat there, processing.
After a minute, the kid reached out, drained his beer, and waved the waitress over. When she got to the booth, he said “Four Gentleman Jack, two ice cubes. And another round of PBRs.” All of a sudden, the kid was a trained professional. He might be okay, after all. When she brought the drinks back, he slid a highball glass in front of each of us and raised his in a salute. “To saving the world” he said as he tossed back his drink and chased it with a beer.
As one of the very astute 3, 🙂
I have to tell you that I love the way this reads.