That’s not an untrue method of describing much of what gets posted here, although perhaps the use of “verbal” would be inaccurate. I tend to just sit at my keyboard and spew, without too much thought of the consequences, which frankly has been a pattern of my life – not thinking too much about the consequences.

But today I was taken somewhat to task for some things that I’ve revealed here on the blog about things in my life and some of the lives of people around me. I suppose I had forgotten that more people have access to what is written here than just my blogger friends, because I tend to post a Twitter update whenever I update here. And that updates my Facebook, which some 800+ people have access to. So there might be information out there that could come around and hurt or embarrass some folks that I don’t want to hurt in any way. So I responded with the fact that you can’t really unring a bell, and if people have read things here that may embarrass other people, I can’t do anything about that now.

Then I started to think about what I should have done differently. Should I reveal less about myself here? Should I talk less about what’s going on in my life? Should I try to think about how what I say is going to affect anyone that might read anything I ever write before I write it? And if I do that, will I fall into a heinous case of analysis paralysis and never get anything written?

Finally, I think I’ve decided to apply the very few hard and fast rules in my life to my writing here. I’ve lived by this set of rules for a long time, and it’s done me well.

1) Don’t do anything you really don’t want to do. I don’t mean like getting up in the morning and going to work, I mean like things that you really think are wrong or bad or terribly unpleasant.

2) Don’t do anything to intentionally hurt anyone else. It may be impossible to avoid hurting people in life, but as long as you don’t intentionally harm anyone, you can apologize and move along. They don’t have to accept your apology, but you’ll have done your part.

Following those two typically leads to the third pretty easily.

3) Regret nothing. Everything you go through in life gives you something, good or bad. Take it, revel in it, and work with it. Maybe it’s something that sucks, but you can use it. I can honestly count on one hand the things I truly regret in my life, and I’m very happy about that. I think too many people go through their life saddled with too much regret, and that’s left them baggage that gets in the way of living. Here are the regrets that I can think of (this isn’t to say that these are the only things in my life that I shouldn’t have done, but these are the things that I actually feel bad about).

I regret never going to see my grandmother in the old folks’ home before she died. Even though she suffered from dementia and probably wouldn’t have known it was me, just knowing that someone cared a little bit would have brightened her day, and since I drove past the home where she was every time I visited my parents after she was put there, I have no excuse for never stopping. It wouldn’t have meant much to her, but I wouldn’t have that guilt.

I regret the way in which I broke up with my high school sweetheart. I was seeing a couple of other girls when Suzy and I met. Obviously I don’t regret THAT I broke up with her, because I love being married to my wife and can’t imagine spending this many years (not to mention the ones in front of us) with anyone else. But I broke up with her via a long-distance telephone call because I had misunderstood a telephone message from her that she was coming home for a visit that weekend. Had I heard her correctly, I could have broken up with her in person, and that would have been the kinder thing to do. We were a huge part of each other’s lives for five years, and I owed her a face-to-face ending.

I regret not going on the study abroad program in China that I applied to my sophomore year of college. It was one of the very few big opportunities I’ve ever let slip away, and I may never again have the chance to immerse myself in another culture to that degree. I think I’ve taken pretty good advantage of most of the opportunities I’ve been given, and made a few extra for myself besides, but that one I’d like to have another shot at.

Those are honestly the biggies. Of course there are people I wish I’d been nicer to, like my oldest niece when we were kids, but frankly, we’re pretty good friends now, so it worked out okay and I don’t really care that we despised each other for our entire childhood. It gives us something to crack jokes about at family gatherings now. There are a few other things I wish I’d tried, and sometimes I wish I’d toughed out grad school, or tried to stay in school and get a Master’s in English, but those are things I can still do if they become important. I wish I’d met my mother-in-law, because I think my wife is pretty amazing and I’d like to have had the chance to know the woman that she came from, but the fact of the matter is that I never would have met my wife if her mom hadn’t died and left her some cash to go back to college with, so our marriage really is the silver lining out of that huge cloud.

So I’m not going to self-censor any more than I already do. And anyone who doesn’t like what I write doesn’t have to read it. And anyone who thinks I’m oversharing doesn’t have to read it. Because it’s got my name at the top of the page, and this is my corner of the world to spew with as I please. You’re welcome to share my life. I wouldn’t have invited you otherwise. But I get to decide what’s too much and what’s not enough and what’s just right. And that’s just the deal. Now I gotta go try to get a little bit of writing in before I clean up a Powerpoint presentation for tomorrow.

If you enjoy this post, or just want to make sure you don\'t miss a new release, please take a second to support me on Patreon!