So I know there are still a bunch of people out there who love print books. I know this, because I see a bunch of you at conventions and shit. And I know there are people who love autographed books, and might not be able to get to a convention to see me.
So here’s the deal. I’ll sign whatever you want, and I’ll mail it to you. I’ll inscribe it to whoever you like, only don’t make me write anything that would make your grandmother blush. Not that I really give a shit, but Granny emailed me yesterday, and she says she’s tired of getting nasty notes in the mail, so knock it the fuck off, already!
Shipping is figured in, and you can click through to go to PayPal and pay with a credit card even if you don’t have a PayPal account. I’ll probably throw some bookmarks in there, too, and if you buy more than $100 worth of shit, I promise to throw extra stuff in the box. I dunno what it will be. It might be an extra book, it might be more autographed shit, it might be dirty laundry. No, I will not ship you my underpants.
Nah, fuck it, if you want underpants, I’ll send you underpants. But you should really get therapy for that. For real, I’m medicated and I think that’s fucked up.
So here you go – a new way to buy my shit!
Brand New! Falstaff Books Backpacks! Show the World you’re a Misfit Toy with this awesome embroidered backpack. Ships US Only, takes about two weeks to deliver, and comes with a prize inside, just like Cracker Jacks!
Queen of Kats
It should have been a simple heist. But nothing is ever simple for Remarin, a thief with poor impulse control and a talking dagger with an attitude. Now he’s running for his life in the middle of a plot to steal a throne. And who is this kid he picked up along the way, anyway?
For fans of David Eddings, Tad Williams, Raymond Feist and Michael J. Sullivan, Queen of Kats is high-octane high fantasy full of action, adventure, laughs, and thrills!
$14.99
Also available in Hardcover!
$24.99
Amazing Grace
Jessica Fletcher meets Aunt Bea meets Odd Thomas in this Southern Gothic Paranormal Mystery with a dose of romance from award-winning novelist John G. Hartness.
Lila Grace Carter is your favorite new detective, you just don’t know it yet. She’s determined, smart, caring, and sassy as the day is long. She also talks to dead people. Of course, as she puts it, “I’m Southern. We all talk to dead people down here. The difference is, they talk back to me.”
“A modern Southern Gothic with charming characters—living and dead. Hartness expertly blends a sinister, small-town murder with the warmth, humor, and innocence of a cozy mystery. Lila Grace is an entertaining amateur sleuth. Highly recommend.”
—E.J. Stevens, award-winning author of the Ivy Granger Psychic Detective series
Also available in Hardcover!
Fireheart
Rachel doesn’t know what’s weirder – that there’s a dragon in the woods by her school, or that Scott Morrison actually thinks she’s beautiful. Or maybe it’s the elves. Yeah, it’s totally the elves.
It was an ordinary weekday for Rachel Hampton. You know, like every day – you wreck your bike on the way to school because the gorgeous queen snot of the universe slams on the brakes of her spanky little convertible right in front of you, so you swerve to miss her and get run over by Scott “Oh My God” Morrison who is so nice and so cute and so out of your league. Then there’s dodgeball in gym, which not even getting in a bike v. car argument earlier in the day will get you out of, because your gym teacher is a sadist, and of course then you hear the explosions, because no matter how much you scream at your geologist father, he can’t stop the mining company he works for from blowing the top off a nearby mountain and destroying the environment, but it’s West Virginia, so it’s not like explosions are a new thing around here.
But then the dragon wakes up. And everything gets really, really weird.
$10.00
The Black Knight Chronicles: Lots of Vampires. No Sparkles. Serious Snark.
This Omnibus Edition collects the first three full-length novels (Hard Day’s Knight, In the Still of the Knight, and Man in Black).
What happens when a couple of comic book nerds get turned into vampires and decide to play Batman by becoming private detectives?
Hilarity, that’s what!
Praise for the Black Knight Chronicles–
“Honestly, this is one of the best books that I’ve read this year and certainly a new series that I will be following.” –Black Lagoon Reviews
“This is another great book in what will hopefully be a large and successful series. I know I will be eagerly awaiting the next installment.” — Indie Book Blog
$22.95
The Black Knight Chronicles continues with a new Omnibus Edition!
Collecting Black Knight Chronicles 4-5 (Paint it Black, In the Still of the Knight, Man in Black), the second Black Knight Omnibus brings you up to speed with the boys and girls from Black Knight Investigations.
Jimmy, Greg, Sabrina, and the gang battle dream thieves, boggarts, immortal demon women, and mortality in this trio of light urban fantasy novels!
$22.986
Scattered, Smothered, & Chunked – Bubba the Monster Hunter Season 1
The first collection of Bubba the Monster Hunter shorts is here! This volume collects the first ten stories plus an origin novella for Bubba, explaining why he stopped playing football and started playing punching bag for monsters. Also includes the origin of Bubba being unable to pronounce “chupacabra.”
$15.00
Also Available in Hardcover!
Grits, Guns, & Glory – Bubba the Monster Hunter Season 2
This is real original, but Season 2 picks up right after Season 1 ends! I know, right? How crazy is that?!? Yeah, not so much. But anyway, here’s another ten shorts and one novella featuring everyone’s favorite redneck monster hunter, or at least the one whose exploits paid for my pickup truck. Includes the infamous “SquatchDong” scene that I’ve read at conventions all over the South.
$15.00
Also Available in Hardcover!
Wine, Women, & Song – Bubba the Monster Hunter Season 3
Season 3 of Bubba features two of my favorite things I’ve ever written, Midsummer, where I blend my life in theatre with my writing life to retell Shakespeare using Pokemon Go! as a framework (yeah, really!), and Oh Bubba, Where Art Thou, which features cameos by my sister, my niece, her husband, my brother-in-law, and my mom. That piece if very special to me, much more so than I think is evident to a casual reader, but that was kinda the plan when I hid my family in a retelling of A Christmas Carol mashed up with The Devil Went Down to Georgia. Four novellas this time, instead of short stories.
$15.00
Also Available in Hardcover!
Year One: A Quincy Harker Collection
Year One collects the first four Quincy Harker novellas, including the Manly Wade Wellman Award-winning Raising Hell. Get the whole set here, and I’ll include a hell-raising inscription to whoever you like!
$20.00
Also available in hardcover!
The Cambion Cycle: Quincy Harker Year Two
The Cambion Cycle encompasses Year Two of the Quincy Harker series, and features four serialized novellas of Harker and his “friends” battling evil and trying to save the world, no matter how little some folks deserve saving. Check out The Cambion Cycle and learn how to really raise Hell in Atlanta!
$20.00
Also available in hardcover!
Damnation: Quest for Glory Book I (Quincy Harker Year 3)
She gave up her divinity to save the world. Now Quincy Harker has to track down a bunch of missing Archangels to find Glory’s wings. If only getting her wings back were as easy as ringing a bell.
Damnation: Quest for Glory Book I collects the four novellas from Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter Year Three. The story concludes next year in Salvation: Quest for Glory Book II.
$20.00
Also available in hardcover!
Lawless Lands: Tales from the Weird Frontier
Lawless Lands features 20 stories by some of the best voices in Sci-Fi and Fantasy today, including Seanan McGuire, Faith Hunter, David B. Coe, Edmund Schubert, Laura Anne Gilman, Nicole Givens Kurtz, Barb Hendee, and me!
Also includes a brand new Bubba the Monster Hunter short story not available anywhere else!
$17.00
