Oh sweet baby mother-humpin’ Jebus…

I’ve had this screen open and blank for half an hour as all my little chillun’s keep coming into my office expecting me to work while I’m in the office instead of the rampant fucking off I had intended for my last workday of the year. Meh, that’s why they pay me the medium bucks, I suppose.

So the deal to buy my dad’s house is a no-go. Turns out the credit union I was talking to doesn’t make their own mortgages, they go through Wells Fargo, who goes through Fannie/Freddie and has very specific rules about buying a house that you aren’t going to live in. One of those rules is a 25% down payment, and since I don’t have an extra $45K just randomly lying around, that deal’s pretty much off the table. So now my dad needs to look at a reverse mortgage, which would allow him to live in the house for the rest of his life without making any payments, and keep the tower revenue, and at the end of his life the bank takes the house. The only catch to that is that if my mother outlives him, she has no home. Now my mother has dementia and there’s no way in hell that she could live there on her own anyway, so it’s not a huge issue, but we certainly hope that my dad either outlives her or outlives the dwindling remainder of her faculties, so that she would be blissfully unaware of the fact that she was placed in a nursing home.

On the other hand, once my dad dies we (the family/heirs) have a year to figure out what we want to do – either buy the house back from the bank, or empty the place out and call it done. I never intended to move back to Bullock Creek, SC, I was just trying to make sure my dad still had a place to live. I can’t ever see living somewhere that I can’t get cell phone reception and high-speed internet access again, so it’s not really a viable option for me. I just hope that everything will work out for my folks and my sister, who currently stands to inherit the house if she wants to deal with the debt attached to it. Of course I have fond memories of my childhood home, but it’s just a building. My family isn’t a building, it’s people, and the memories I have for them, so I don’t have some odd attachment to the building just for its own sake.

So now I don’t have to try to scrape together another $400-500 each month to make a second mortgage, I can focus on paying off some credit cards. I had a good run there a year or so ago where I had zero credit card debt, and I loved it. Then I got a free hot tub that ended up costing me several thousand dollars to get running, and I got a little stupid with my spending, not to mention dealing with a couple of weddings that I had my own expenses as well as some other folks’ expenses to help out with, and all of a sudden I’ve got $8k in credit card debt. Big bag o’ suck. So that’s where my focus will shift for the first part of the year – to paying that crap off and living like a reasonable human being again instead of like some asshat that’s made of money.Unless I win the PowerBall tonight, at which point I will BE an asshat made of money, and that will be just fine with me.

So have a good New Year’s – don’t do anything on Amateur Night that would find its way to Texts from Last Night or any other embarassing website.

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2 thoughts on “Oh sweet baby mother-humpin’ Jebus…

  1. Well, if the goal is for dad to keep his roof, then that could be a solution that works. I’m amazed F&F have a 25% requirement considering how much they’ve screwed the pooch thus far in terms of US mortgages.

    Good call on the credit card debt. Should always be the first thing paid down when you can. CC interest is stupid, and there’s no way you could earn that on anything else.

  2. sounds like a decent solution for your dad’s issue with the house but 25% down? jeeeeez!!

    we are highly focused on paying down debt in 2010 as well. Made a good dent into it during 2009 but we had to replace a bathtub and that was much more costly than we thought it would be!

    here’s to 2010 not sucking 🙂

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