I’ve been onstage for twenty years now, since my first role in high school when I was 16. In that time I’ve played supporting roles, character roles and leading roles. I’ve done contemporary shows, Shakespeare and modern drama. I’ve performed for full houses and crowds of half a dozen. There have been shows that moved me and shows that barely touched me. By this point, I can walk out in front of a theatre crowd of pretty much any size in pretty much any capacity and treat it as just another day at the office. It’s still special, but it’s not new.
But reading my work in front of people scares the bejesus out of me. It’s very different when I’m reading stuff I wrote. The stuff I do with theatre is someone else’s creation, someone else’s guts and blood spilled out onto the page. When I’m reading my poetry and other writing, it’s all me. And that’s a different level of scary than anything I’ve ever experienced in theatre.
Last night I had a blast at Just Do It. I read two of my pieces that were written specifically for the event, which was themed “Nobody Told Me.” One was titled “Girls Like You” and the other was “Octogen.” Suzy shot video of the performances, but it was overexposed and didn’t look good, so I won’t be posting that here. The first one was a lighthearted piece about getting dumped, and the second was a more serious piece about my aging mother. They were very well-received, and I sold a couple of books at concessions, which is always a plus. It’s always funny to me when theatre people who have known me for years read my stuff or see me read, because most of them have no idea that I write. I’ve written poetry much longer than I’ve done theatre, but with theatre taking up so much of my life for the last dozen years or so, many of my friends are shocked when they see me read poetry that I’ve written. It also helps that I don’t look like the average poet. So while I love reading my stuff, there is still an element of stage fright involved. Not gonna stop me, of course, because that’s the best way to promote my book. So come on out to Story Slam next Saturday to see me!
reading your own poetry is so different than acting. although if you can learn to treat the reading of poetry as more of a performance it definitely makes it easier!