And I don’t just mean two blog posts in the same month, although that might qualify as well.
Last night, after a production meeting for Annie (funny the kind of shows we’ll accept when we have to pay for a new roof, isn’t it?) I headed over to the auditions that my buddy Jimmy was having for his company’s season. Jimmy was auditioning a bunch of stuff throughout the year, and I basically put on my audition form that my schedule was retarded but we’d work something out if he needed me. I like Jimmy as a person, and respect the hell out of him as an artist, so I’ll work for him in bit parts and for no money just to be around the kind of energy he has going.
But after I’d read a couple of things for him, something odd happened – he asked me if I was going to sing. I don’t sing. Well, I do, but I’ve been told (repeatedly) that I don’t do it well. At all. But here was a guy with more parts than actors making it a welcoming experience to audition for his musical. And since it’s Cannibal: the Musical, it might be okay to be a little off-key to go with the off-color. So I went out back of the bar (auditions were in a dive bar on the back patio) with Mimi, the musical director, and sang an audition.
Let’s be clear – I have NO musical training. Like, none. So when she said, let’s sing your range, I barely had any idea what she was talking about. But she was patient, and apparently I matched notes with the keyboard well enough for her to get an idea of what I can (or more likely can’t) do musically, and it was a good experience.
But the new part, or at least the part where I was reminded of what it’s like for most people, was the vulnerability I felt auditioning. I haven’t really auditioned for anything for a couple years, and even then it wasn’t a big deal. I put myself in positions where I’m either one of the best people in the audition pool, or at least one of the best people for the role, or I’m pre-cast without auditioning because I run the company, or I audition on a lark and don’t really care if I don’t get a part. It’s been a long time since I actually felt like a real actor feels when I’ve auditioned. Like I wanted to do well, and had no idea if I was doing well or not. It brought back a lot of those early-actor fears and insecurities and wonders and newness and was overall very, very cool. I still don’t know if my schedule will let me do the show even if they do want me, but after going through that, I kinda really want to do the show now. It feels like it would be really interesting to go back to something so far outside my comfort zone and try to master it.