by john | Dec 30, 2009 | Real Life
I’ve had this screen open and blank for half an hour as all my little chillun’s keep coming into my office expecting me to work while I’m in the office instead of the rampant fucking off I had intended for my last workday of the year. Meh, that’s why they pay me the medium bucks, I suppose.
So the deal to buy my dad’s house is a no-go. Turns out the credit union I was talking to doesn’t make their own mortgages, they go through Wells Fargo, who goes through Fannie/Freddie and has very specific rules about buying a house that you aren’t going to live in. One of those rules is a 25% down payment, and since I don’t have an extra $45K just randomly lying around, that deal’s pretty much off the table. So now my dad needs to look at a reverse mortgage, which would allow him to live in the house for the rest of his life without making any payments, and keep the tower revenue, and at the end of his life the bank takes the house. The only catch to that is that if my mother outlives him, she has no home. Now my mother has dementia and there’s no way in hell that she could live there on her own anyway, so it’s not a huge issue, but we certainly hope that my dad either outlives her or outlives the dwindling remainder of her faculties, so that she would be blissfully unaware of the fact that she was placed in a nursing home.
On the other hand, once my dad dies we (the family/heirs) have a year to figure out what we want to do – either buy the house back from the bank, or empty the place out and call it done. I never intended to move back to Bullock Creek, SC, I was just trying to make sure my dad still had a place to live. I can’t ever see living somewhere that I can’t get cell phone reception and high-speed internet access again, so it’s not really a viable option for me. I just hope that everything will work out for my folks and my sister, who currently stands to inherit the house if she wants to deal with the debt attached to it. Of course I have fond memories of my childhood home, but it’s just a building. My family isn’t a building, it’s people, and the memories I have for them, so I don’t have some odd attachment to the building just for its own sake.
So now I don’t have to try to scrape together another $400-500 each month to make a second mortgage, I can focus on paying off some credit cards. I had a good run there a year or so ago where I had zero credit card debt, and I loved it. Then I got a free hot tub that ended up costing me several thousand dollars to get running, and I got a little stupid with my spending, not to mention dealing with a couple of weddings that I had my own expenses as well as some other folks’ expenses to help out with, and all of a sudden I’ve got $8k in credit card debt. Big bag o’ suck. So that’s where my focus will shift for the first part of the year – to paying that crap off and living like a reasonable human being again instead of like some asshat that’s made of money.Unless I win the PowerBall tonight, at which point I will BE an asshat made of money, and that will be just fine with me.
So have a good New Year’s – don’t do anything on Amateur Night that would find its way to Texts from Last Night or any other embarassing website.
by john | Dec 29, 2009 | Real Life
I’m not going to go down the rabbit hole of looking back over a year’s worth of posts and scribbles to tell you that this was a goofy year, one full of fun and change and upheaval and all sorts of other jazz. I started the year off right, getting in hot water with my boss at PokerNews and getting booted off a couple of assignments, which cut into my frivolous spending money a bit. Then I got back in the good graces of said boss in time to cover the WSOP for the third year, but then saw said boss get sacked at the end of the WSOP and a new boss be brought in. The new boss’s arrival (who I like and is doing a good job with the site, BTW) coincided with a desire to focus on work and creative writing, so I made what I think was a graceful exit from the employ of that site and focused on my poetry and fiction writing for most of the year.
It turns out that one of the best things for me as a writer was getting put on probation with PN back in the spring. It woke me up to the fact that while I was being paid (and paid well) to write for several years, what I was writing was formulaic crap. There really are only so many ways to say “he got all his money in ahead and lost, too bad” while trying to add some slight flavor to the story. My work for PN was pedestrian and followed a formula, but it was dependable and harmless. Kinda like chicken fingers. It’s hard to screw up, but there’s not a lot of flavor there, either. So from a purely financial standpoint, I miss doing that work (and am still available for hack jobs if anybody is hiring). But from a creative standpoint, I enjoy what I’m doing now much more. The edict for the PokerStars blog is different from the PN stylebook – I’m encouraged to be a little freer with the language and style and I’m not really supposed to follow the AP stylebook like I tried to do at PN. That makes it a little more fun to write, and I only do a couple of articles a month for them, so it’s less of a load on the whole day-job mortgage paying life, too. I could probably stand to pick up another 3-4 articles each month if anybody was looking, but barring the WSOP or another short-term high-intensity series of assignments, I’m mostly done as a poker writer.
And I’m not in much better shape as a player. This will mark my third losing year in a row, ranging from stuck a couple grand in 2007, to stuck less than a hundred bucks last year, to stuck about $1,500 this year. I do think that later in the year this year I made a few adjustments to my game that were good ones, and had it not been for a disastrous run at the WPBT trip I might have struggled back to even for the year. But I may have to look at the hard evidence that I’m a losing poker player and need to make some adjustments to my game. I definitely need to tighten up – a lot, and go back to the basics a bit. So I’ll start that quest on Friday with my annual pilgrimage to the House of Blood for the New Year’s Day tourney (won in 2006, cashed in 2008, I remain the only out-of-towner to ever win this event) and we’ll see where we go. Playing poker has taken a back seat to my creative writing work and the podcast later this year, so it’s more of a recreation to me than it has been in previous years. I still look at the WSOP schedule whenever it comes out and look at the NLHE Shootout event, thinking that if i can run the $200 in my Full Tilt account up to something close to the buy-in between now and summer I may take my shot. But if it doesn’t happen, it’s no big deal.
With the attempt to purchase my dad’s house in full swing I’m looking at options to make that work financially and I may end up sacrificing some long-term to make things work in the short term. If I take a bigger mortgage and use cash from that to pay off Suzy’s car and my student loan, then I can negotiate things so that I’m actually laying out less cash each month. Unfortunately that means I’m then paying off those things for the next 30 years instead of the next 3 and 5 respectively, but it may still be the best option I have to get this house purchase worked out and be able to afford everything. It means that I don’t have the nirvana of having an extra pile of cash each month in a few years, but it also means that I’ll own a 9-acre plot of land in the country that in a few years will generate enough each month to pay for itself.
If you’re in Charlotte or the surrounding areas, block off the evening of January 23rd for the next Carolina Writer’s Showcase at Story Slam. And I’ll be reading two original pieces at Just Do It on January 15th at Theatre Charlotte. Hope to see you there!
by john | Dec 28, 2009 | Real Life
Last night I covered the PokerStars Sunday Million in addition to the Sunday Warm-Up for the PokerStars Blog. This is a little unusual as California Jen typically handles the Million so us more easterly bloggers can get a little shut-eye. But I had vacation time left over from last year and needed to fill a hole in my writing revenue stream after getting Shamus to cover my week on the Warm-Up earlier this month when I was busy drinking my bodyweight in Coors Light in Vegas, so when Jen said she’d be out of town and needed some help covering, I volunteered. There were some technical issues (probably on my end) that made the night a little nerve-wracking, and there’s always the inherent jealousy that goes along with watching total strangers parlay a $215 entry fee into a mortgage-wiping score in one night, but the real challenge for me was the waiting.
Tom Petty was right, it really is the hardest part. Waiting for people to bust out so I can write the wrap-up, waiting for everything to load so I can check my work, waiting for more people to bust out so I can cover the next event, etc. etc. So of course instead of using the time in any type of constructive way, I played Dragon Age on Xbox (best Christmas present of the year!) and read a Mercedes Lackey book that I picked up the day after Christmas.
Yeah, I know I issued a moratorium on book purchases until I’d waded through the dozen or so books that I have scattered around the office at home. Yeah, I know I issued a moratorium on frivolous spending as I’m trying to buy my dad’s house. Yeah, I know I could have just asked for the books for Christmas and done a little responsible consumption instead of my normal Cookie Monster on a Tollhouse binge shopping method. But I got a coupon.
Those may be the most evil words in the English language. I knew I was screwed when the header showed up in my inbox. 40% off any one item. I was dead at that moment. I knew Books-A-Million carried the Absolute Sandman series. I knew they’d probably have Volume 2. I didn’t have Volume 2. I knew that Volume 2 went for around $65 on Amazon, and $100 retail. That meant that with my 40% off coupon, I could walk into an honest-to-god real live bookstore and buy something cheaper than on Amazon (the shipping v. sales tax argument doesn’t work with me – I buy enough crap on Amazon in a year to justify the Amazon Prime membership that gets me free shipping. And it really does work out to be a money-saver over the course of a year, which says sad, sad things about how much crap I purchase). So I did.
I went over the BAM at Cotswald and found Volume 2. And after tax I paid $64 and change. And then I bought a bag full of other books off the clearance rack. And one paperback because the third volume of a series I’d already read the first volume of was on the clearance rack, but you can’t read 1 & 3 without reading 2, so I paid full price for the paperback version of the middle book. But I had a $5 off coupon, too, so I had the nice sales cutie ring me up as two separate transactions so I could use both coupons, so I guess I got the paperback cheap, too. And my other bag of books cost me about $33. So I told my wife that I bought the Sandman Volume 2 for full price and got the other bag of books free! Which is mathematically true, if not a completely accurate statement.
I have the willpower of a bulemic on an ipecac bender. Hope you had a Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrated!
by john | Dec 22, 2009 | Real Life
So…I’m trying to buy a house. I have a house, and I have no plans to move, and yes, I am trying to buy another house. My father’s house. The house I grew up in. My father has been having money troubles for the past several years, and hasn’t dug himself out even after declaring bankruptcy last year. He’s currently facing foreclosure because he can’t make his mortgage payments, and even after going through all the loan modification channels at Chase, they actually had the gall to come back with an offer of a interest-only mortgage that actually had a higher interest rate than the note he was trying to get modified! Now if he can’t make the payments on a 9.25% mortgage, why would a company even offer a 9.5% mortgage?
So I’ve started the process to try and buy my dad’s house. It’s not the perfect answer for me, not right now, but with a couple of tweaks to our household spending we can make the nut. Dad leased a portion of the land to the county five years ago to build an emergency communications tower on, and that provides him with $600/month in payments. If I can get a note between and 5-6%, which should be doable, I’ll only have to come up with about $400/month to bridge the gap between what the tower provides and what the mortgage will be each month. And it’s hard to turn down an opportunity to buy a 2200 sq. ft. house on 9 acres for $170K. The tower deal makes the mortgage reachable, and the payment from the county increases incrementally over time, so there will come a time about halfway through the life of the mortgage that the property will actually generate more revenue each month than it costs. So long-term it makes sense. And it lets my dad keep the house he built when he married my mother, so that’s pretty important to me, too. So there might be a few less trips to Vegas in my immediate future, but I’ve got a few things floating out there that make this only a stretch for the first few months of the year, after which I think we’ll be in pretty good shape.
by john | Nov 25, 2009 | Real Life, Vegas, Writing
So with Thanksgiving upon us, I guess I’m supposed to list things I’m thankful for.
I’m thankful to be employed. And most days in a job I like. I’d be thankful for a little more freelance work, because that would take a little financial pressure off, but I have limited time to chase that in, so I think I’m good with status quo and a few baloney sandwiches for the time being.
I’m thankful that the reception to our podcast has so far been excellent. With just two episodes released (next one drops Sunday 12/6!) we’re knocking on the door of 1,000 downloads, which is very cool to me. I went into this with no expectations other than to hang with Special K and have a good time, but I think we’re putting a good product out there and providing enjoyment to other folks as well. All that’s thanks to Special K, who does all the editing and the vast majority of the research for our episodes. I’m the funny fat guy on the show, and am perfectly happy to be the dumb one. So far I’ve been amazed at how intelligent he makes me sound, and the bumper at the beginning and end that Tragedy did for us is fantastic.
I’m thankful that my folks are still around, even though it’s less and less so every year. My mom has Alzheimer’s (or dementia, we’re not really sure and I don’t think I care enough to pay attention to the difference) so every year might be the last one that she’s really with us. Who am I kidding? She hasn’t been really with us for several years, but we still get flashes of the woman she used to be now and then, and as long as those flashes keep coming we’ll keep hanging on to them. She’s 76 and my dad is 80, so they’re pretty frickin’ old to have a 36-year-old son, but that’s what happens when you shoot out your last pup at age 40. I think every year that it might be the last one I have with them, so when I get another holiday with them, I’m pretty friggin’ thankful.
I’m thankful that I got Returning the Favor published and the reception has been good from the folks that have purchased it. If you want a copy and will be in Vegas, let me know. I can throw some copies into my carry-on and I will accept casino chips for book sales. A year ago I wouldn’t have considered publishing a book off my old blog posts and poetry, and now I have a copy in my backpack. That’s pretty amazing to me, and something I’m pretty proud of.
I’m thankful that in a couple of weeks I’ll be drinking with some of my best friends in Vegas. I can’t wait!
by john | Nov 24, 2009 | Real Life, Travel
Yeah, that whole post again tomorrow bit wasn’t working out, was it? Anyway, the front pocket of my backpack is pretty packed, but it gets a lot roomier moving backwards.
The second pocket is where I carry stuff that I don’t need that often, more for emergencies. I keep a USB-Car adaptor in there in case I’m in a rental car and forgot my car charger for the iPhone (happens more often than I care to admit). I also keep a small LED flashlight and a glow stick in there. Yeah, one of those snap it and shake it glow sticks. It’s kind of a just in case thing, but when the power’s out, you need a light source, and for less than a dollar, it’s worth keeping one on hand. I also keep one in the glove box of each car and a few stashed around the house for storms. They don’t give off much light, but enough to move around by, and they don’t run out of lamp oil or have their batteries die with no use.
My portable hard drive rides in this pocket when it’s not on the desk I’m working at. I carry a 500GB external HD pretty much everywhere, because it has a super-small form factor and holds all my music, all my family photos and pretty much everything I’ve ever written. And a bunch of porn, to boot! I picked it up for less than a hundred bucks, and it lets me keep my old MacBook plugging along without jamming up the hard drive.
I also carry a point n shoot digital camera with a 1GB SD card. It’s a Kodak that I picked up at Wal-Mart a couple years ago when I couldn’t find my Canon on the way to the airport. It’s worked out fine and takes decent pictures, and I typically am not carrying my SLR camera. I use it less and less since I got the iPhone, but it does take way better photos than the phone.
I turned an Altoids tin into an office emergency kit, with a few paperclips, binder clips and safety pins in there, along with a 512MB memory stick. I took a few rubber bands and wrapped them around the outside to keep the tin closed, and used them to hold an emergency sewing kit to the outside. There’s been more than one time when it’s been VERY important to have a needle and thread on hand, and a couple of spare buttons and safety pins are worth their weight in gold.
The last thing in the front pocket is a Do Not Disturb sign I swiped from a Marriott somewhere. The worst thing in the world is getting to a hotel very late at night and realizing that this is the ONE room in the building that doesn’t have a DND sign for door. So I grabbed one from a hotel and stuck it in my bag. It’s better than writing “Bugger OFF” on a notepad and jamming it into the keycard slot, which I’ve also done in a pinch.
Other things I always have with me are a book, a couple of copies of my book (because I have no idea when someone will develop a desperate need for poetry), a CAT5 cable (preferably 10′) and a notepad. If it’s a trip of any length I also have my noise-cancelling headphones, which I paid way too much for in the Atlanta airport one trip, but have proven themselves to be more than worth the cost every time I put them on. I also keep a couple of small caribiners clipped to the outside of the bag, just in case. Just in case of what I’m never really sure, but a couple of caribiners are usually pretty handy, and they’re lightweight enough not to bother me carrying them around everywhere.
Keeping this bag packed this way lets me grab it and go without having to think about packing, which means that there is less opportunity for me to forget shit when I’m on the way out the door. Having just gotten on blood pressure medication recently, the policy of keeping a few days’ worth of drugs in my bag is more important, as I recently found out what a flaming pain in the ass it is to get a prescription moved to another state in a hurry. So now I just drop in my laptop, portable HD and phone and I’m good to go. Now that cooler weather is here, I’ve moved back into my favorite jacket in the world, which has more pockets than I can keep track of, so I’ll be moving a few things back and forth from the backpack to the jacket, and adding a few trip-specific things like digital voice recorder, business cards, etc.
