I got my schedule for Chattacon this weekend – I’m on two panels and have a table in the dealer’s room. So if you’re in Chattanooga come on by the ChooChoo and say hello!
Saturday at noon I’m on a panel called “Out of the Closet and Onto the Page:Self Publishing” with Alan Gilbreath from Kerlak Publishing. As two of the most out-of-the-closet and out-of-bounds panelists in the building all weekend, it oughta be fun. Alan is a good panelist, he has opinions on everything, has experience in the publishing biz, is witty and articulate. And he’s fun to drink with. So I expect us to have fun there.
Saturday at 2PM I’m on “Technology – Help or Hindrance for Writers?” with Mark Van Name and Stephen D. Rogers. Mark is a best-seller for Baen Books, and Stephen has a bunch of books out and teaches workshops on writing and publishing, so that should be fun. I’ve never met either of these guys before, but that’s pretty common for panels.
I’m still looking for a Con Assistant – and I’m willing to take on multiples for different cons. My friend Melissa has already volunteered to minion for me at ConCarolinas and DragonCon because I hang with the other authors she minions for, so adding one more kitten to herd isn’t that tough. Suzy will be my minion at MidSouth Con and Fandom Fest, and I’m sharing a table with folks at Heroes Con, so I really only need a minion at a couple of events. I can’t offer money, but I’ll cover your con costs and most if not all of your food for the weekend. You’re probably going to have to ride with me to the con to keep costs down, but if you already live where I’m coming for a con, then it’ll be easy!
Here’s where I’ll be and when –
March 2-4 – High Point, NC – StellarCon
July 20-22 – Chattanooga – LibertyCon (unconfirmed)
August 3-5 – Columbia, SC – RoundCon (unconfirmed)
Hmm, looks like I need less minioning than I thought – excellent! I knew I got married for something other than love and laundry.
Sales are going awesome so far this month – the Bubba the Monster Hunter Collection Monsters Beware is doing very well. I think it might have dipped into the individual short story sales a little, but since I make more on one collection than I make on all four short stories put together, I’m pretty happy with that.
Doesn’t make sense? Here’s the math – I sell the collection for $2.99, which qualifies for Amazon’s 70% royalty, so I get $2.04 per copy sold. Each individual short story sells for $.99, which qualifies for Amazon’s 35% royalty rate. So I get $.35 for each short story sold. There are four shorts, so $1.40 for each set of four short stories. $2.04 is better than $1.40, so I’m better off selling the collections. Of course, my hope it that someone buys (or freebies) the first one, then buys the collection, so I double-dip for an extra $.35. I know, thirty-five cents is less than a pack of gum, but in multiples of a hundred it adds up. I’m still not making Konrath money, but I’m making decent cash, enough so that I can still plan on quitting my day job in March.
Livin’ the dream, baby. Livin’ the dream. See you out on the road!
Bet you never thought you’d read that here, did you?
Full disclosure – I’m not terribly religious. I believe in stuff, but I’m as organized in my religion as I am in everything else in my life, which is to say not much at all. So I don’t love Tim Tebow because he’s the second, third or fourth coming of anything.
I like him because he’s a winner. He’s a quarterback who wants to win. This scene from The Replacements shows what a winner is – he’s the guy who wants the ball when it’s all on the line.
Tebow wants the ball. He’s a winner. He’s not afraid to put the entire team on his back and carry them across the goal line. He did it at Florida, and I remember watching him in a press conference where he was so fired up about losing a game that he basically promised not to do it again. And he didn’t. On his way to a record-setting college season and another national championship, he put the Gators on his back and carried them to the title.
I don’t think he’ll do that in Denver this year. I don’t know if he’ll ever win a Super Bowl. Dan Marino didn’t, and is still considered one of the best of all time. And I don’t think Tebow is a Dan Marino, a perfect passer and field general with a Hall of Fame career. But I think he’s a winner.
And I think he’s a nice guy. Everything I’ve seen about him says that he’s a genuinely nice, respectful human being. And he’s pretty unlikely to commit a felony, unlike certain other starting quarterbacks I could name in the league. My point is not that Tebow is a better person than Mike Vick, I don’t know either of them. My point is not that Tebow is a perfect quarterback, because he certainly isn’t.
But if I couldn’t have Cam Newton and had to take a QB that entered the league in the past two years, I’d take Tebow over any other rookie or sophomore QB. I’m certainly not going to trade Newton for Tebow, because I think Newton is amazing now and will be an elite QB in the next few years.
But Tebow is one of my favorite quarterbacks in the league right now. Because he wants to win. He knows how to win. And he gives a lot back to the community. He’s a sports star that kids can look up to, and I really hope that it stays sincere and he doesn’t get caught up in the cult of personality that we can create. Because it’s awfully fun to watch a nice guy win now and then.
Tim Tebow is the kind of guy I can root for. As long as he’s not playing against the Panthers. 🙂
Just for the record, five hours of tattooing is a lot. A whole lot. This is my third tattoo, and by a mile the most extensive. I went in wanting something to symbolize rebirth and transformation as I move from one career into another one entirely. So I looked around for a while before I decided on a tattoo shop, Fu’s Custom Tattoo’s here in Charlotte. I met with Christian Dunn, set an appointment and gave him a piece of reference art to think about.
We started here.
Or more specifically, here, because as much as I love Jean Grey, she wasn’t what I was shooting for.
only without the ginormous boobs. I love boobs, but I don’t want them tattooed on my shoulder.
I left that with Christian to think about, and we scheduled an appointment. I’ll admit to a certain level of nerves when he said that I should come in at 12:30 in the afternoon and that I would be his only appointment that day, because it would be extremely detailed. And a very long process. And take multiple sessions.
I was nervous because I knew what that meant. Pain. Lots of Pain.
I was right. After about an hour and a half of drawing, we were ready to start the outline. Yep, it took over an hour of freehanded drawing before we actually got to any tattoing. Another two hours of needle work, and we had this.
Two hours of having a needle jabbed into my flesh at a bajillion times per minute. A pretty good start. We took a dinner break, and I returned for the last three hours.
Three more hours of having a needle jabbed into my flesh at a bajillion times per minute. And honestly, Christian had a pretty light touch. There were only a few spots where I wanted to cry for my mommy. Mostly up around the top where there’s not much flesh between the skin and the bone. Those spots hurt like hell.
But after three more hours, a bout of lightheadedness, a stomach cramp that would NOT go away, and about a gallon of ink, here’s the end of session 1.
Today my upper arm feels pretty much like I’ve got a bad sunburn. And over the next week this piece will go from lovely to scabby, to flaky, to crappy, back to lovely.
Then in a month or so I get to go back in and get more color done. That will probably only take a couple of hours. I figure when all is said and done I will have spent at least 8 hours in the chair getting inked up.
And I already know what I want for my next one. And the one after that. And the two after that.
It’s a sickness, I know. But they don’t wear out like expensive boots.
Let’s make goals instead. I suck at resolutions, but somehow manage to be pretty goal-oriented. So here are my goals for 2012. At some point I’ll take a look back at last year’s goals and see where I succeeded (number of novels written) and where I failed horribly (weight loss), but this is not that post.
1) Words per day – I’m quitting my day job, so there’s no reason not to ratchet up my productivity. My current goal is 2,000 words per day, or 10,000 words per week. That equates to half a million words in a year, which should give me plenty of fodder to do the 2 Black Knight books I’m contracted to turn in this year, finish the Return to Eden trilogy this year, and work on something else (maybe a fairy tale, maybe a straight thriller). That also leaves a lot of words on the table for short stories, because my books are short, usually under 75,000 words. So I should be able to crank out a lot of product this year, which is pretty key to putting food on the table.
2) Solicit more paid work – not just fiction, but I’m a pretty good non-fiction writer, too. I’ve still got a few contacts in the poker world I can ring up, plus there are several entertainment industry publications that are interested in having me write for them. I’d like to get a couple of articles each month out in the world to help out in the slow months when the fiction dollars aren’t cranking.
3) Return to writing poetry – I haven’t done much poetry in a year or so, but re-launching Red Dirt Reviewhas me itching to write more literary fiction and poetry, so I need to re-train my mind for those particular backflips. And if you haven’t check out the Review yet, give it a shot. There’s some work over there by some amazing poets and short story writers. And submissions are always open.
4) Work on my photography – I got a new camera, now I need to learn how to use it. I want to learn about filmmaking with a DSLR, and I want to learn more about photography, too. My years in lighting design and stage direction have given me a pretty good sense of composition, I just need to get a better handle on the technology.
5) Work out and lose weight – I’m not real healthy right now, and I’ve got to make time to get some of the weight off. It needs to be higher on this list, but whatever switch in my head that makes me want to get up and work out every day hasn’t flipped yet. I did get a couple of workouts in during my week off, but not as many as I would have liked.
That’s what we’re going to start with – what are your goals for the new year?
Short answer, everything’s okay. Long answer is that next year, all I want for Christmas is nothing that makes me say “Oh shit” and hop in the truck hauling ass to South Carolina at any point. I don’t mind going to see my relatives, but I’d like for their to be no catastrophe involved. No near-death experiences, no medical mishaps, nothing that could remotely smell of tragedy. Just wanted to log that request early. It will be made often this year.
So if you’ve been reading here for a while, you may remember that last year on Christmas Eve my brother’s house burned to the ground. Everything he owned was destroyed, and his two adorable little dogs were killed. We as a family had a pretty craptacular Christmas, and spent a large portion of the first quarter recovering from that financially and emotionally. I want to take another quick second to thank all of you who gave me cash to give to him, it meant the world to me, and to my family, that you guys stepped up and lent a hand. If you ever need me, I’m there.
There will be no asking for donations at any point in this story, that’s another bit of good news.
So let’s hop in the Wayback Machine and go back to the beginning of the month. While I was getting a nice buzz in Las Vegas, my oldest brother was getting a nice buzz off a morphine drip from his second knee replacement of the year. Apparently they both wear out at roughly the same rate, and it made the most sense to get one done in June and then get the other one done in December, so he’d only have to hit one deductible this year. Makes sense to me, right? And the first one went off without a hitch, so I wasn’t worried. I think it was several days later before I even checked in on him. All was well, came the report, and I returned to the bar.
And all remained well as far as we knew until he went back to the doctor a week or so later. There was a little inflammation, and some swelling. The doc gave him a shot of some hefty antibiotics, and started talking about re-admitting him. Well, my brother Bob is a silver-tongued devil when he needs to be, and he really didn’t want to be in the hospital, so he persuaded the doc to let him go home. The doc reluctantly agreed, and checked in on him the following day. The knee looked a lot better, but the doc wanted to check a lab result or two.
Then they told him to get ready for a long stay and at least one more surgery on his knee, because he’d contracted MRSA and they were going to have to go back in and clean the incision. And remove a plastic part of the prosthetic knee. And probably go in again to clean it in a few days. And he was likely going to be in the hospital for at least a week. Maybe up to four weeks. And the antibiotics would be about a twelve-week course of treatment.
Merry Christmas, Bob! They did go back in and clean the wound, and replace the part that potentially had the bacteria living in it now, and they sewed him back up. I rode down to the hospital and took him a bag full of books (if there’s one thing my brother and I share aside from snark, it’s a love of reading). I hung out for a couple of hours and was there when the infectious disease specialist came in to talk to him. He had good news – the second drug they tried on him was “exquisitely effective” against this type of bacteria, so there was almost no chance that it wouldn’t eventually kill off the whole thing. The likelihood that they would have to remove his prosthetic knee entirely was down to around 5-10%, and he would be well enough to go home in a few days. If the insurance company agreed to allow him to administer the drugs at home.
Apparently the antibiotics he was on are incredibly expensive, and the insurance company typically thinks that if you’re so sick as to require that level of medication, that you should be in the hospital. There’s a logic there, but there’s a flaw or two in it as well. But this isn’t a state of healthcare post, so we’ll just get to the rest of the story.
Long story made slightly less long – he went home a few days after I went to see him, which I take full credit for. He still can’t really travel, and because he has a serious (read – can f’n kill you) infection that he’s fighting, he shouldn’t really be around too many people. So he and his family didn’t make it home for Christmas for the first time in my thirty-eight years.
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! IT SLICES, IT DICES, IT DELIVERS BABIES!!
There’s more coming, but this is running long. I’ll leave you with a spoiler pic –
And God no, it’s not mine. What are you people, crazy?
So Yeah, I’m having fun with the new camera. My old camera, a Canon Rebel Xti, was also really nice, and I had a very good 70-300mm lens with image stabilization built in. I was able to take this shot with it standing at least a 1/4 mile away from the stream in the picture.
But that camera was stolen when my car was broken into in Atlanta. The first time.
Yes, it happened twice. Not to the same car. And not in the same part of Atlanta. But twice in 2010 my car was broken into in Atlanta. The first time they got me good. My two-week-old MacBook Pro, backpack, Canon DSLR Camera, both lenses, some lighting equipment and a bag full of tools. Probably about ten grand worth of stuff, none of it ever recovered.
The second time they got a briefcase with about a dozen copies of my books, plus some loose change. I got all that back except for a couple of books. But I also got a different book, so I can’t really complain.
I’ve hung out a while with a little point n’ shoot camera that does a pretty good job, but finally I broke down and bought another good camera. As Red Dirt Review is starting to take off, I’m going to need to shoot some cover images from time to time, and the new Rebel shoots 1080P video, which is not only inherently cool, but something I’m interested in exploring. It also has an articulated LCD screen, which is really nice when shooting at odd angles, or video, both of which I end up doing in theatre.
Anyway, have a Happy whatever you celebrate, and I’ll be back next week with a new weekly feature – Album of the Week! Each week I’ll give you a sample of what I’ve been writing to, and links to buy the album. Full disclosure – I’m an iTunes affiliate, so I get a few pennies if you buy the album there. To kick off the series, here’s the song that’s been kicking off my alien invasion short story writing session – Roger Creager’s I’ve Got the Guns. This one goes out to my pal, Scott Chaffin. Keep fightin’, brother.
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