by john | Sep 6, 2017 | Appearances
Nah, I’ve still got DragonCon brain, so I’m not going to try to drop any knowledge on you this week.
But I’ll tell you where you can find me in the next few weeks to ask me yourself!
Saturday, September 9 – Bookmarks Literary Festival in Winston-Salem, NC
I’ll be there sharing a tent with Matthew Saunders, Darin Kennedy, and Gail Z. Martin. We’ll have a shitload of books for you buy, so bring a wagon! Also attending will be awesome people like Christina Henry, Leigh Bardugo, and Sherrilyn Kenyon. They won’t be in the tent with us, but they’ll be there.
Saturday, September 23 – Con2 – Cabarrus County Main Library – Concord, NC
Falstaff Books will have multiple authors representing us there, with a truckload of books to sell and some awesome panels to present. So come out and say hi, and bring your wallet!
Friday, September 29 – Saturday, September 30 – Penned Con – St. Louis, MO.
There are a flaming shitload of writers at this multi-genre book festival in St. Louis, including me and Eric Asher. So if you’re anywhere near there, come out and say hi!
That’s the rest of this month. There’s more to come, always! See you soon!
by john | Aug 25, 2017 | Appearances
Yeah, I know I post something like this almost every year about this time. These tips are still relevant, and become only moreso as the convention grows and the hotels do not. So here are Hartness’s tips for surviving Dragon Con.
- Carry a water bottle. You don’t have to carry a full one, there are water stations all over the place, and many of the hotel bars will fill your bottle for you if you’re nice and don’t jam it in their faces when they’re crazy busy. But it’s hot as Beelzebub’s ballsack in Atlanta Labor Day Weekend, and humid as a gator’s taint. If you aren’t accustomed to moving around in that kind of heat and humidity, you could end up in real trouble. So stay hydrated. For every beer or alcoholic drink you have, drink one glass of water. Ditto for soda.
- Plan for shit. There’s an app and everything. Your favorite writers have probably posted their schedules to their websites or Facebook. So there’s no excuse for doing nothing, unless you want to do nothing for a little while.
- Plan for shit to go sideway. It’s fucking crowded. It’s fucking hot. You’re fucking hungover. Hell, maybe you’re just fucking. But be prepared to throw your plans in the shitter if something awesome comes up. Maybe you’ll be waiting in line for a restaurant and one of your favorite cover artist of all time will invite you to go sit in the back of a panel and have a picnic with he and his wife, who happens to be one of your literary heroes. Maybe you’ll end up dancing with this amazing guy/girl/genderfluid person at DJ Spider’s set and you’ll go hook up. Maybe you’ll walk past a room and find a legendary knife maker teaching knife throwing. These are all things that are worth abandoning your spot in line to get Nathan Filion’s autograph, I promise. Have the flexibility to enjoy an experience more than a thing. And two of those three cool things happened to me. No, I’m not telling you which one didn’t happen. If you want to know buy me a drink, or bring a cold Miller Lite to one of my panels for me.
- Meet new people. There are some awesome people at Dragon, and some of them are folks that you’ve either read or heard of or watched on TV. Meet them. Either go up to their table and say hi, or if they’re in a bar with a crowd of people, don’t be afraid to walk up and say hi. If you’re a public figure and you don’t want anyone to approach you, you won’t be hanging out in a bar. Don’t be a dick, and if they seem to be in an intense meeting or conversation, don’t bug folks. Ditto when they’re eating in a restaurant. But bars? Before or after panels (especially after)? Fair game.
- Go to a reading by an author you’ve never read. I suggest the one held in the Hyatt Marietta room at 1PM on Saturday. Even if you’ve read my stuff, there will probably be someone reading there that you’ve never heard of. I open my readings up to my friends, because I don’t want to read for an hour. So come see me and my pals! Then stick around for whoever is after me, because they’re probably awesome, too.
- Go to the Dealer Room Monday or during the parade. This is a legit pro tip – the dealer room is crowded as FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK. To avoid that shit, go when people aren’t there. Parade time and Monday are prime shopping times. Don’t know when the parade is? Use the app. You’re a damn adult, I can’t do everything for you. 🙂
- Don’t go near the fucking habitrails from 4PM Friday to 1PM Sunday. Those things are like a goddamn claustrophobic sauna during the height of the con. I avoid them at all costs during those hours.
- Take pictures, but don’t be a dick about it. Don’t stop in the fucking habitrails. Don’t stop at the top of the fucking escalator. Don’t stop right outside the fucking elevator. Don’t fucking stop abruptly. Don’t stop right inside or outside a fucking door. Don’t fuck up the traffic flow. There are 75,000 fucking people, and all of them want to get somewhere.
- Don’t be a perv or a creeper. Here’s how to tell if whatever you’re about to do or say qualifies. Ask yourself this question – “If someone said those words to my mother/sister/daughter/spouse/friend would I want to punch them in the dick?” If the answer is “yes,” then don’t say those words. The same thing applies to actions. If you wouldn’t want someone to do it to you or someone you love, don’t do it. This does not apply to me slapping Tamsin Silver on the ass. I have been granted a lifetime pass, and she has a lifetime pass to grab my butt. We went to college together. We’ve seen some shit, y’all.
- Stay calm, stay flexible, have fun. We all have anxieties. We all have things that set us off. Keep all that shit in check, and if you need to go sit in a bathroom stall for fifteen minutes to chill the fuck out, then go do that. Just grunt every once in a while so people will think you’re taking a titanic shit and they won’t be afraid you died. But for real, I have hidden in the crapper for five minutes to escape the madness on more than one occasion and at more than one con. It’s a legit survival strategy. Anytime you’re in a new place, you find out where all the exits are, and where all the shitters are.
- Do at least one thing you never thought you’d do. For some of y’all, this is a once-in-a-lifetime trip. For others, it’s an annual thing. For some of us, it’s the toughest and most enjoyable work week of the year. But there’s one thing that’s universal – we love this shit. So do something awesome. Meet someone awesome. Have a motherfucking adventure!
- Buy my shit. No trip to Dragon Con is complete without buying my shit. You can place orders on the Autographed Books page and I’ll deliver them to Dragon Con. Just tell me which one of my panels you plan to be at (preferably one in the Hyatt, since that’s where I’m staying) and I’ll bring your books to the panel. Yeah, I’m a whore. What did you expect, public fucking service?
Here’s my schedule –
Title: Two Sides of the Same Coin: Angels & Demons in Urban Fantasy
Time: Fri 05:30 pm Location: Chastain 1-2 – Westin (Length: 1 Hour)
Description: Representations of angels & demons vary widely within folklore, religion, & literature. Our panelists will discuss how depictions often focus on their similarities as well as their differences.
Title: Reading: John G. Hartness
Time: Sat 01:00 pm Location: Marietta – Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)
Description: The author of urban southern fantasy and host of the podcast Literate Liquors reads from his works.
Title: The Black Dog: Depression & Mental Health in Fiction & Fandom
Time: Sat 04:00 pm Location: Embassy AB – Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)
Description: Our panelists examine how mental health is portrayed in SF. Are there any portrayals that help those of us dealing with our own issues? Note that this is not a prescriptive or workshop.
Title: Writer’s Block: Real or Imagined?
Time: Sat 05:30 pm Location: Embassy CD – Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)
Description: The debate about writer’s block is as old as the craft. Every writer has an opinion. The pros discuss the condition and the cures.
Title: Broad Universe Rapid Fire Reading
Time: Sun 10:00 am Location: Piedmont – Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)
Description: Enjoy a varied sampler of short readings from authors whose work spans a range of fantasy sub-genres in the Broad Universe Rapid Fire Reading.
Title: Run Screaming into the Night
Time: Sun 05:30 pm Location: Embassy CD – Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)
Description: Does your own writing scare you? Dark Fantasy & Horror need a real edge that guarantees a terrifying read…even for the writer.
Title: Coming to America: An American Gods Fan Panel
Time: Sun 08:30 pm Location: Chastain 1-2 – Westin (Length: 1 Hour)
Description: A moderated fan-panel discussion of the new hit series based on the book by Neil Gaiman.
See you next week!
by john | Aug 23, 2017 | Appearances, Book Spotlight
Here’s a quick rundown on what I’m reading this week (and maybe some of last week, because I forgot to do this post last week).
Currently I’m in the middle of (more like 3/4 of the way finished with) Jake Bible’s Salvage Merc One. I’ve had this on my e-reader for a while, I probably picked it up when it was on sale because I like Jake’s writing, and he’s a good friend. I’m really enjoying it so far. It’s mil-SF, but like most of the stuff I enjoy, and most of the stuff Jake writes, it’s got a fun snark to it, and a protagonist that isn’t a superhero. I like a hero that can (and does) take a beating, and the merc in this one certainly fits that bill! Light-hearted sci-fi with heart and plenty of explosions! Highly recommended!
I’m listening to Christopher Golden’s Ararat, which is old-school slow-burn horror, the kind of stuff that very few people are writing nowadays. Chris can really pull it off, and while I’m not too deep into the book, only 3-4 hours so far, it’s starting to pick up steam and I can already tell that this one will barrel to a hellacious conclusion. His Snowblind was one of my favorite books a few years ago, and this one looks to be a worthy successor.
There would be more, but my internet is being goofy as fuck, and isn’t wanting to pull up books on Amazon for me to link to, so go ahead and Google that shit. Buy the books I’ve listed above, and if you feel like picking up Fireheart or one of my other books while you’re over there, it wouldn’t hurt my feelings. 🙂
If you’re anywhere near Columbia, SC this weekend, come say hi to me, Matthew Saunders, Jim McDonald, Davey Beauchamp, and a bunch of other talented artists and folks at the Soda City Comic Con. We’ll be at the convention center in downtown Columbia Saturday and Sunday, so bring us your hard-earned money, and we’ll turn it into hard-earned books! Or art, in Davey’s case. But anyway, bring us your cash! I’ll be in Artist’s Alley in booth 61. Hope to see you there!
Oh, that picture to the left? Well…there might be a new Great-Grandpappy Beauregard collection releasing this Friday, 8/25. I’ll be back tomorrow with a preview!
by john | Jul 23, 2017 | Appearances, Business of publishing, Harker, Real Life, Writing
Hey there –
Just dropping in for a quick update. My writing, at least as far as the stuff I’m publishing, has been slowed down a bunch this summer by travel and the fact that I have been slamming on Black Knight #7 as hard as I can go for a while now. But the end of that project is in sight, so I have managed to get started on Bubba Season 4, Episode 2, where Bubba deals with his psycho Granny, Mad Queen Mab of FairyLand.
I also have a short story due by August 1 that I should probably start writing. But maybe that’s next weekend’s project. I’ve also had a lot of publisher projects to handle the past few weeks, but most of those are either complete, or complete to a point that I can step back from them for a little while.
So here’s what’s coming –
I’m finishing up the first draft to Wild Knight, Black Knight #7. Then I send it off to Deb at Bell Bridge, and we start the editorial process. Hopefully that thing hits before the end of 2017, but let’s not hold our breath, shall we? This book has a lot of threads, and Deb is good about cracking the whip on me and making me do my shit the right way, so I might have to go back in and do some surgery on this thing before all is said and done.
Fire heart, my YA dragon romance novel, releases on my birthday – August 14th. It’s up for pre-order now, and it’s cheaper if you pre-order. I’m raising the price as soon as release day is over, so if you want to get it for $2.99, you better click a link.
My Patreon patrons will all also get a present on my birthday, and anyone who is a patron and has pledged for at least one billing cycle before then will get something neat. So if you want a present, become a patron. You have to do it before patron pledges are billed at the beginning of the month, though. You can’t just sign up on the 10th, then quit after I give out presents on the 14th, and get the present without ever paying for the patron level. That’s not cool.
I’m also serializing a mil sci-fi cyborg book I’ve been working on over at Patreon, so all patrons can read everything there. Amazing Grace has a few more chapters, then I’ll get that edited, and I’m going to enter it into the Kindle Select program, to see if Amazon will pick it up. I’ll be asking all of you to vote for the book once that starts, so get ready!
Once I finish this Bubba book, probably sometime in August, then I’ll hit the next Harker book hard. That gets us to the midway point of Quest for Glory, and once we get that written there will be two more Harker novellas in that storyline, plus a Gabby Van Helsing novella and a Jack Watson novella. It’ll all wrap up into one big damn Season 3 volume, with a fuckton of angels all over the place.
And with that many angels in one place, there’s got to be at least one devil, right?
There are two more Bubba novellas in FairyLand coming, then Bubba will be back in the mundane world for Season 5, picking up the pieces and facing the consequences from his unexpected and unannounced absence. This will  tie into the Bubba verse novellas that folks like Eric Asher, Bobby Nash, and Gail Z. Martin are all writing this year and next. So there’s plenty of stuff for y’all to read coming soon.
Now I gotta go – rasslin’s coming on. Peace out.
by john | May 25, 2017 | Appearances
ConCarolinas is next week, and I’ll be there, as always! This year is going to be something special, because we’ll be launching Lawless Lands (which you can totally pre-order now from your favorite digital store), and we’re doing a live Authors & Dragons podcast with THE ENTIRE CAST! I’m really excited to hang out with the boys at my home con, and it’s going to be very cool to actually meet Steve Wetherell and Joseph Brassey for the first time.
So if you want to come hang out, here’s where to find me –
Friday
4PM – I Talk of Dreams – Shakespeare and Fantasy stuff.
5PM – You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive – A Justified Panel at a SF/F Con? YUP!
6PM – Hold Onto the Light – I’m fucked up. You’re fucked up. Come be fucked up together, and learn how to help other people. Bring tissues.
7PM – Princess Alethea’s Traveiling Sideshow – I will read redneck poetry while other people do similarly silly thins.
Saturday
10AM – Going for the Laughs – Can anyone be funny at ten in the morning? If it’s possible, this gang will do it!
12:30PM – An Hour with Sherrilyn Kenyon – come join me as I interview our Writer Guest of Honer
3PM – Falstaff Books Spotlight – See what’s out and what’s coming soon!
6PM – Authors & Politics – Not a comedy panel. Well, maybe.
10PM – Authors & Dragons live podcast – Definitely a comedy panel. Be drunk when you arrive. We will be.
SundayÂ
11AM – An Hour with Sherrilyn Kenyon – if she’s still speaking to me after Saturday. 🙂
To find out who else will be where, go to www.concarolinas.org.Â
by john | Mar 21, 2017 | Appearances, Travel
Hey folks, how’s it going?
It’s the beginning of con season here, which means it’s stupid busy. I spent a fair chunk of Friday packing boxes of books (yes, in between episodes of Iron Fist, which I enjoy, but not as much as I loved Luke Cage) for SC Comicon next weekend. I’ve got several appearances and signings coming up in the next few weeks, and I’d love to see you at any or all of them.
Actually, maybe not ALL of them. That might be a little creepy, and I might have to wonder if you don’t have anything better to do with your life than follow me around like some kind of low-rent Grateful Dead tour. Without the drugs. At least, as far as you know. But there’s better not be anyone selling molly in the parking lot of my book signings.
Nah, fuck it, you be you, booboo. If you wanna sell molly in the parking lot of a book signing, you sell all the molly you want. I don’t know how much custom you’re gonna find in the parking lot of Park Road Books, but you could probably make some serious bank at a comic con or at the Winthrop bookstore. Huh, maybe following fantasy authors around and selling drugs at their signings could be a whole new business model.
For somebody else, of course. I would never suggest that drugs are anything other than the evil scourge of our society that the media says they are. But, since we’re on the subject, you holding?
Anyway, I’ll be at Park Road Books in Charlotte this coming Wednesday night at 7PM promoting the anthology Cinched:Imagination Unbound that we published at Falstaff Books last year. I’ll have my good friends Misty Massey, Gail Z. Martin, Larry N. Martin, Nico Serene, and Dave Harlequin with me, so come on out and pick up an awesome book or two! There’s more info at the Facebook event page.
Next weekend I’ll be at SC Comicon, slinging my books and books by all the Falstaff authors! This is a great little two-day con, and I really shouldn’t call it little, because there’s a ton of people there. They’ve got a great guest list this year, and I bet there will be a lot of Bernie Wrightson tribute pieces done, since the comics legend passed away last weekend. Falstaff author Bobby Nash will also be there, promoting his new release 85 North, as well as the ton of stuff he’s written, and our friend Davey Beauchamp, who makes incredible fractal fan art, will be there too. If you’re anywhere near Greenville, you should come out and say hi.
The following week I’ll be at my old alma mater Winthrop University for a multi-author signing and discussion about our anthology We Are Not This. This charity anthology was created to protest the discriminatory and frankly bullshit hate-filled law that NC passed last year called HB2. It’s a piece of shit legislation designed to marginalize some of our citizens and while people are concentrating on that section of the law, stripped employees of all sorts of protections that they used to enjoy in a civilized society, all because our former governor is a cockbag and the NC General Assembly is full of twatwaffle shitsuckers. I have been accused of having strong feelings on this issue.
But if you’re interested in hearing a bunch of social justice warriors talk about why they care about a law that doesn’t affect them directly (hint – the answer is because we’re fucking human beings), come join me, Melissa & Jason Gilbert, Lucy Blue, Tally Johnson, and Misty Massey talk about the concept of looking out for other people and treating people the way you want to be treated. You know, the shit they taught you in kindergarten.
Then next weekend I’ll be in glorious Shelby, NC (no shit, it really is a very pretty town, and gave us Earl Scruggs and Acoustic Syndicate, so it’s got a badass musical heritage) at an event at the Shelby Public Library. My homey Darin Kennedy set this up with the fine library folks (I heart librarians) and there will be a ton of authors there, including a bunch that I’ve already mentioned here, like me, Gail, Darin, as well as AJ Hartley, Jake Bible (I’m gonna wear my Stone Cold Bastards t-shirt), Misty, Nicole Givens Kurtz (who has a guest blog coming up here on Friday), and other badasses. You can find out all the info at the Facebook Event Page.
So yeah, I’ll be a lot of places, I’ll be talking about (pimping) all the things. Come see me, say hi, get a sticker, take a selfie, bring me your cat to snuggle (don’t really, that might be weird, unless you check with the venue ahead of time and they say it’s cool. In that case, totally bring me you cat to snuggle.). Hope to see y’all soon!
