by john | Aug 6, 2010 | The Chosen, Writing
So I got proof copies of The Chosen in yesterday, so that I can send a few to local writers to get cover blurbs, and I was all excited. Yay! Hard copies of the book! Then I looked inside and saw that the margins sucked and the print was so small you couldn’t read the damn thing. Boo! The same thing happened with the proof copy of Red Dirt Review, and I thought I had taken care of that, but obviously not so much. So I spent a couple hours last night fiddling with the formatting, and ordered another proof copy. Hopefully it looks good. But on the up side, at least now my proof copies will have the right cover art, because my designer and I have finalized the cover. Check it out below. I think it’s fun, and captures enough of the spirit of the book to get people interested, and I like the red/yellow contrast. So check it out.
And I have decided to make a hardcover available, so there will now be three release dates for the book. Hardcover first, then paperback about a month after that, then ebook a little later. I’m not sure how long it will take Rob to get the ebook conversion done because I know he’s stacked up right now, so I’m still hoping for September. So hopefully for my birthday (next Friday in case you haven’t marked your calendars yet!) you’ll be able to order hardcovers. Then by Labor Day hopefully paperbacks and ebooks will be ready. I’m not sure how long it will take the ebook to be available in the Kindle store or iTunes, but it’ll be available on Smashwords as soon as the formatting is done. So now check out the cover by Lindsay, and lemme know what you think!
by john | Aug 4, 2010 | Theatre
And I don’t just mean two blog posts in the same month, although that might qualify as well.
Last night, after a production meeting for Annie (funny the kind of shows we’ll accept when we have to pay for a new roof, isn’t it?) I headed over to the auditions that my buddy Jimmy was having for his company’s season. Jimmy was auditioning a bunch of stuff throughout the year, and I basically put on my audition form that my schedule was retarded but we’d work something out if he needed me. I like Jimmy as a person, and respect the hell out of him as an artist, so I’ll work for him in bit parts and for no money just to be around the kind of energy he has going.
But after I’d read a couple of things for him, something odd happened – he asked me if I was going to sing. I don’t sing. Well, I do, but I’ve been told (repeatedly) that I don’t do it well. At all. But here was a guy with more parts than actors making it a welcoming experience to audition for his musical. And since it’s Cannibal: the Musical, it might be okay to be a little off-key to go with the off-color. So I went out back of the bar (auditions were in a dive bar on the back patio) with Mimi, the musical director, and sang an audition.
Let’s be clear – I have NO musical training. Like, none. So when she said, let’s sing your range, I barely had any idea what she was talking about. But she was patient, and apparently I matched notes with the keyboard well enough for her to get an idea of what I can (or more likely can’t) do musically, and it was a good experience.
But the new part, or at least the part where I was reminded of what it’s like for most people, was the vulnerability I felt auditioning. I haven’t really auditioned for anything for a couple years, and even then it wasn’t a big deal. I put myself in positions where I’m either one of the best people in the audition pool, or at least one of the best people for the role, or I’m pre-cast without auditioning because I run the company, or I audition on a lark and don’t really care if I don’t get a part. It’s been a long time since I actually felt like a real actor feels when I’ve auditioned. Like I wanted to do well, and had no idea if I was doing well or not. It brought back a lot of those early-actor fears and insecurities and wonders and newness and was overall very, very cool. I still don’t know if my schedule will let me do the show even if they do want me, but after going through that, I kinda really want to do the show now. It feels like it would be really interesting to go back to something so far outside my comfort zone and try to master it.
by john | Aug 1, 2010 | Fiction, Writing
I know, I don’t ever write anything here anymore. I haven’t written anything in forever, it seems like. And not just here, but pretty much everywhere. All my writerly attention has been focused on getting The Chosen ready for publication this fall. I put out a short volume of poetry a month or so ago called Red Dirt Boy, which is available online at Lulu. I described it as poetry for people who don’t like poetry, because I’ve had more than one person tell me they didn’t like poetry, but they liked my stuff. I guess I have a more discerning class of readers :). Or most poetry is intentionally obscure shit. One of those. You pick.
But I’ve got a cover design finalized for The Chosen, and I’m really excited about getting that rolling. The fabulous Lindsay Birmingham (buy her pictures!) did the graphic design for me, my niece Dianne did my editing, and Rob Siders is doing the conversion to e-book for an incredibly reasonable price. I found Rob through Joe Konrath’s blog, which is very helpful for anyone who is interested in the self-pub/e-pub world. I think that folks like Joe and Cory Doctorow are going to be required reading for writers in the new world, as the marketplace changes around us every day.
I decided that The Chosen will be primarily published as an e-book, not just because it’s faster, cheaper and I get to keep a higher percentage of the royalties than with traditional publishing, but because in the last six months and additional 3.3 million e-book readers have been purchased in the US alone. As a matter of fact, you can buy one of your very own here. No, I don’t think all, or even most people are using their iPads as e-book readers. Yet. But with Amazon announcing that e-books are currently outselling hardback books on their site, and with the addition of the Kindle app to the iPhone, Droid and iPad, it just makes sense. Plus, you’ll be able to buy the book for $2.99 on Amazon or $3.99 on iTunes, which gives me a much better shot at selling a pile of books to people who don’t know me than a $15 paperback on Lulu with a $5 shipping tag.
That said, I will do print-on-demand for The Chosen, because I know that a lot of people still want a real book in their hands. And I’ll do real copies for signings and book release parties and all that, because I don’t think anyone wants me to take a sharpie to the back of their iPad. But I can get a professional-quality e-book formatted with a great cover design for less than $500 out of pocket, so that’s the path to market I’m planning. I think the book will be ready for early September, and I’m toying with some ideas like a super-limited hardback run, or something like that.
I’m also working on the beginnings of another story (or two). I have this snarky teenage vampire character stuck in my head, and I can’t get rid of him, so I’ve started a story about a pair of 60-year-old teenage vampire detectives. I also have an end of the world story that I’m toying with about the death of technology and return of magic to the world, but that one’s slow to take off. I really need to win the Powerball so I can quit my job and just write for a living, but the redneck 401(k) hasn’t worked out for me yet.
I’m heading off to a comic con here in a few, then grocery shopping for the gimpy wife. She had minor foot surgery on Friday, so I’m on day 3 of nursemaid duty, which is about my upper limit. She’s recovering nicely and has Darvocet for the pain, so hopefully she’ll be in a place where I can go back to work tomorrow.
by john | Jun 29, 2010 | Uncategorized
So in a fit of excitement about some upcoming readings, and a looming realization that I didn’t have any new material to sell at said readings, not to mention the understanding that Returning the Favor has finally almost sold out the initial print run and thus pretty much broke even or maybe actually made me a little bit of money, I have put together another collection, this time all poetry. This is poetry for people who don’t like poetry. Poems for people who drink too much, live too loud and have too many skeletons in their closet. Basically, people like you and me.
So Red Dirt Boy is now available from Lulu, my print on demand publisher. And Lulu has a deal going right now that if you buy more than $20 worth of stuff from them, you get free shipping, so you should totally combine your purchase of Red Dirt Boy with a copy of Returning the Favor if you don’t already have one. And if you do, toss a couple of copies of Red Dirt Review Vol. 1 into your cart.
If you’re only interested in one poetry collection, but still want to fill out your order to take advantage of the free shipping from Lulu, I highly recommend Lost Vegas, by Paul McGuire. This is a book I’ve been waiting to read for years, and I ordered my copy today. You should too! And if mystery is more your thing, check out Same Difference by Martin Harris. A real hard-boiled detective novel from another Carolina writer. And adding either of these books to your Red Dirt Boy order gets you free shipping, so it’s a great deal on some great summer reading!
I will have copies with me at most readings, so if you want to get a copy signed, that’s your best bet. Also, if you have a literary blog and want to do a review, contact me for a sample. I have very limited review copies, but can swing a few.
by john | Jun 27, 2010 | Fiction, Vampires, Writing
I think this is the beginning of a new book. Lemme know what you think. Also, I have a new collection of poetry coming out in the next couple of weeks, and I believe The Chosen will be available for iPad, Kindle and other e-readers by late September, with hard copies available from lulu.com. But check this out and let me know what you think, please.
I hate waking up in an unfamiliar place. I’ve slept in pretty much the same bed for the past fifteen years, so when I wake up someplace new, it really throws me off. When that someplace is tied to a metal folding chair in the center of an abandoned warehouse that reeks of stale cigarette smoke, gasoline and harbor water – well, that really started my night off on a sparkling note.
My mood deteriorated even further when I heard a voice behind me say “It’s about time you woke up, bloodsucker.” I mean, seriously, why do people have to be so rude? It’s a condition, like freckles. I’m a vampire. Deal with it. But we can do without the slurs, thank you very much.
“Go easy on the bloodsucker, pal. I haven’t had breakfast.” Was what I tried to say. But since my mouth was duct-taped shut, it came out more like “Mm mmmm mm mmm-mmmmmmm, mmm. Mm mmmmmm mmm mmmmm.” My repartee was gonna need an assist if I was going to talk my way out of this. Of course, if my mysterious captor had wanted me dead, he’d had all day to make that happen, but instead I woke up tied to a chair. I tested my bonds, but I was tied tight, and whatever he had bound me with burned, so it was either blessed, and he was devout, or it was silver. My money was on silver. The true believers are more the stake ‘em in the coffins type than the kidnap them and tie them to chairs type.
“I think, bloodsucker, that since I’m the one with the stake, I get to call you whatever I want. And you, as the one tied to the chair with silver chains, get to sit there and do whatever I say.” My captor moved around in front where I could get a good look at him. I knew him, of course. It’s never the new guy in town who ties you to a chair, it’s always that kinda creepy guy who you’ve seen lurking around the cemetery for a couple weeks. The one that you’re not sure if he was there to mourn or for some other reason. And of course, it was always some other reason.
I’d seen this guy hanging around one of the big oak trees in my cemetery, near the freshest grave in the joint, for a couple of weeks. I never thought much of his wardrobe until now, but in retrospect he was wearing almost stereotypical vampire hunter garb. Black jeans, black boots, long black coat, wide-brimmed black hat. Christ, I bet he owned the Van Helsing Blu-Ray. I swore then that if I ever got the chance, I was eating Hugh Jackman’s liver. No, we don’t usually eat people, but liver’s liver, and I was pissed. I had been caught and trussed up like a Thankgsiving turkey by a skinny twenty-something who watched too many bad vampire movies.
This kid was white, about twenty-three, with mousy brown hair and looked like he played too much Call of Duty instead of getting a job. His skin was paler than mine, for crying out loud, and I’m dead! He was a hair over six foot, weighed maybe one-forty soaking wet, and either had an asthma inhaler in his front pocket or was happy to see me. God, I hoped it was an inhaler.
“Mmmm mmmmm mm mmm mmmm mm mm mm?” I asked, which was supposed to be more of a what do you want me to do type of query, but my mouth was still taped shut. The kid reached forward and ripped the tape off, taking a layer or two of skin with it. “OWWW!” I yelled, straining against my bonds. “You little rat bastard, I swear to God I am going to drink you dry and leave your body on the lawn like an empty bag of flesh!”
I admit, my similes need work.
“I don’t think so, bloodsucker. I think you’re going to do anything I tell you to, or I’ll just leave you tied up there to starve.” He had a point there. It’s not like there were very many people who would miss a vampire, and I hadn’t yet figured out how to get loose from whatever silver-lined bonds he’d created.
“Alright, what do you want?” I asked. Might as well find out right now if he wanted something simple or…
“I want you to turn me,” he replied. The look of hope on his face was a little pathetic, really, but there was a determination there that was disturbing. This was not going to be easy.
“No.” I wanted to get the short and simple part out of the way first, then we could move on to the lengthy explanations.
“Why not?” Wow, from zero to whiny little bitch in .4 seconds. If I’d ever had any thoughts of actually turning this scrawny little zit-farm into a vamp, they would have just evaporated.
“Because I don’t turn people. Because this life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Because I don’t know how to turn people. Because you’d miss all those romantical sunsets you probably write mediocre poetry about. Because it’s not fair to the ecosystem to add another predator. All of the above. None of the above. Pick a reason, kid, any reason you like. I’m not turning you.” I started to look around for another way to get out of this mess, but it didn’t look good for our hero. Or at least my hero, and it’s my story.
For a skinny little gamer-geek, he’d done a good job tying me up. I guess that’s another thing we can thank the internet for – unlimited access to fetish porn has improved the knot-tying ability of men who can’t get dates. I couldn’t exactly see my hands, but by straining around, I could see that my ankles were tied to separate legs of the chair with those plastic zip-ties you get in the electrical aisle. I could see a silver necklace wound around each tie, and by the way my wrists felt, he’d done the same thing there. The chair was the standard metal folding type, the kind that gets sacrificed in countless professional wrestling matches. So I was pretty well neutralized. The silver sapped the strength from my arms just by the contact, and I couldn’t get enough leverage with my legs to do anything useful. I looked up to try and Jedi mind trick my kidnapper, when I noticed two things – one – he was wearing polarized sunglasses, which was a neat idea, although ultimately useless against my mental abilities, and two – he was crying.
“You have to turn me!” He wailed, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I don’t have anything left, and this is the only way I can think to get by.”
I couldn’t believe it, I was actually starting to feel sorry for the guy. “Okay, kid. Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong and I’ll see if I can help.”
“No one can help, but if I were one of the Undead I could help myself.” I swear I could actually hear him capitalize undead.
“You know that’s kinda my job, right? Helping people that can’t help themselves. Kinda like the A-Team, without the Mohawk and the van. Reach into my shirt pocket and grab a business card. I promise not to bite you, and as you know we Undead cannot tell a lie.” Total bullshit, but I’ve often found with people dumb enough to romanticize the whole vampire thing that a little mendacity goes a long way. He reached into my pocket and took out a business card. It had my name, James Black, and cell phone number under a logo that said “Black Knight Detectives, shedding light on your darkest problems.” Neither the company name nor the stupid slogan was my idea. And I prefer Jimmy.
“You’re a detective?” I nodded. “And you think you can help me?”
“Well, I can’t really know that until you tell me what your problem is. So why don’t you untie me, and we can talk about this like a pair of reasonable people?” I put a little mojo into my eyes, and he started towards me with a pair of wire cutters in his hand. And that’s when things went to hell.
